Saturday, June 23, 2012

Last Question First

Death is always shocking.  Each of us is edging toward it with every breath we take and yet when the last breath comes and we get the call, we are beside ourselves.  And, if we can find words, they usually shape up into questions and they overcome us. 



Who was there? 

Was there suffering? 

What was the last thing I said to him?

Did he know how I felt? Did I reveal my heart?

Did he know Jesus?

And it's with this last question that I struggle the most. Because if I cared to ask all the questions before that, I should KNOW the answer to this one.  The most important one.

Death brings a clarity we are incapable of seeing in the everyday.  But I ache for this kind of clarity. Every. day.  To remember my days are numbered.   To know the things worth knowing.  To ask the last question first. Because I know the hopelessness of life without Jesus. But a death without Him? 

Lord, may I have the courage and humility to ask crazy questions in a haphazard order.  And may Your Spirit move within me to cover it all in grace so that we can really get down to the heart of the matter, so that you may claim the heart in this matter.

Do you know Jesus? 

Do you carry guilt or shame? 

Do you want to be free? 

So how about this weather? 

What’s your name? 

Do you like chocolate? 

Want to grab coffee?